


WALUIJI IZ H0T

by ikkka



Series: Crack Fics [2]
Category: Kirby - All Media Types, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anime, Bad Spelling & Grammar, Crack, Crack Fic, Cutting, Drama, English, F/M, Fanfiction, High School, High School Drama, Inappropriate Humor, Intentionally Bad Spelling & Grammar, LGBT slurs, Lesbian Relationship, Lesbian Sex, M/M, Mario High School, Mentions of Gorillaz, Mentions of Minecraft, Mentions of Other Super Smash Brothers Characters, Mentions of Spongebob, Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of Super Smash Brothers, Misgendering, Relationship Problems, Self-Harm, Sex Jokes, Slurs, Straight Relationship, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, everybody is 18+, gay relationship, this is in no ways meant to be taken seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-15 18:44:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17534192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikkka/pseuds/ikkka
Summary: "Nintendo High School. Mario is a dick. Per usual. Waluigi is hot af. Wario sux. Luigi’s cool I guess but he really likes pasta. Toad is high on shrooms all the time, and Toadette is ded. Link is hot af and Waluigi is jealous of him so expect fights. And maybe sez."My best friend and I had a sleepover on August 13th, 2017. We planned out this entire fanfiction, planning on it being a crossover between a Mario High School AU and whatever the fuck My Immortal qualifies as. We only ended up writing one chapter, and we have no desire to continue the story further, but it's absolutely hilarious to me, so I'm posting it here.





	WALUIJI IZ H0T

Waluigi woke up. He leaned forward and his hair flapped back majestically as he rose. Yawning a very sexy yawn he look at the time on the clock across the room.

 

“Waaaahahahhh~” he moaned seductively as he realized he woke up earlier than expected. But not so early that it was 2 am or some shit like wtf no. It was 6 am and school started at 8 so WALUIJI had 2 hurs to dressed and be fab and shit. And ofc ride to school like a pro biker even tho he losses all races he has with his 0 Freund's.

 

He removed his blankets and got up off the super comfy super expensive purple bed that costes 5 million coins. He made tost and enhaled it in one gulp like Patrik does in spongebov. Suddenly he realised thot 8 hours had magically passed by and he was now supper late for school as it was now 12 am or somethingg. Angrily he danced to his car and drove rebellioosly to skool while enhaling the last of his warm tattoo bread.

 

The skool wuz big and poppin like a jimbo. Waluigi did have 1 friend (sruprizsingly) and hiz name woz Lonk. Well techbicallaly they were frenemies but Waluigi did not know English well and instead spoke fluent Kawaiiese.

 

Lonk bust out of his luker. He was holding a dildo, he slapped Waliwegy across his pinis noose.

 

“wow you smell lek pussy fart.” he screamed like a 12 yer old playing minecraft.

 

“Its called a quef you baka,” Waluigi twirled his moostache. His mustache tickled his super captivaating eyes.

 

Link took out a lighter and burrned walingies eyebros oof.

 

“I don't cake if its a kweef is how u sai it.” Lank sarcastically screamo’d.

 

Waluigi did one of those anime things where he slouches down but still looks cute af. Japonaise charakters surrounded his haed expressing his disappoontment.

 

“Wgatever u fried noodl we need 2 get 2 anglish clAss.”

 

“Kk” Linck groaned. “Navi fukr"

 

Waluigi wormed his wah to clazz and sat down syndrome in his desk seat chair combination thigamagic. Beside him sat Kurby with his fatwass self.

 

Linkin mossied into cloos he looked at Kurbo and five finger death punched him oot of hte chizar.

 

“get oot uf meh spoot pezent.” he shreked.

 

“WAHT THE FAK” mairo sqwahkked. He stod up and confronted lInk. He was so mad that his moustache corners faxed down instead off up. He looked rlly fuckin disstressed but not in a scarred way.

 

“WHY DA FAQ R U PICKIN ON MY SMASH BRO MOTHAFUCKA!!11!1 1V1 ME ON CLUB PENGUIN YOU FAIRY FSGGOT SKRUB CUNTT.” mario erected.

 

Damn. Pech really kaught a good one. Can you belief he gut a A in englrish?

 

“club penguin closed down a month ago you fuckin retarded tomato fuckr.” Lonk pwned. “yoo dint no shit about my fairy ass. Square up and fite me during reeses you figgoat ass mexican.”

 

“I’M ITALI YU JAPONESE SEZ DOLLL!?????!!!!!!” MARO was about to falcon lunch link but the tacher wolked in and got in between the fiht.

 

“boi u better shut yo homo ass up boi leave lonk along” hes my strait 8 student”

 

Sanss cut in “Lmao you think he’s straight? Shoukda seen meh last night pounding dat-”

 

“STFU U SKOOLOOTOON ASS THOT! I'M ONLY GAY FOR MY SAXY ESS SLIF!11111???!!!!” Lang screemid

 

“ENOOGHF!” the tachar yelled. “VAT IS ENUGH!” the teaher waled up 2 da chalkbored and wrot down a complex equation on da bored with gay pink chalck.

 

“ok classs wot is 2+3” the teacher asked. Also da teacher wuz Roslina from a dimensiun wher she was gofick.

 

Looingi rized hiz hnd.

 

“is it poosible 21!” he crid.

 

“no wtf u idioot it iz 12 dis is why I dat ur bro hes so much smater n he is hoter then u.” Pech defended his boyfrend even tho mairio didnut do anythingz.

 

“I'm surrounded my fuckwags.” The teacher swore even tho he cont. “Fuck y'all i'ma go woork on mah latest famfic about 2DxNoodzle fram Grillaz in Mersaydez. Cya fuckas lata”

 

Da teaxher dropped an imaginari mick into his desk and excited da scene.

 

“So…” waluigi inquired, “duz dis mean we get a free period?”

 

Samex leaped out of her power arms.

 

“fuk uuuuuu figoots I'm outy!” she then jumped out of the window and off the cliff and ded.

 

Laing jammed a pensill up mareeooz peeza nozlae.

 

“ur niz locks leik å fukin pimple the size off a ripie!”

 

Merio deth glued lanck.

 

“Fork uff u broccoli luckinf azz bicn.”

 

Meanwile daizy was in hte cornar bein gay af wit femal wario. Cara frum Undartail wuz stabbin hurselves cuz he wuz sad cuz papyros chos Frisky over hir. Tbh this entire classrom has gon 2 shit an Waluigi waz gettin jealous cuz Loink woz lookin at all da chaos. WALUIJI wanted LinK to look at him tsat way, not da claasroum!

 

Angstingly Waruigi pulled a bom from his ass.

 

“IS GONNA BLOW!! WAAAAAAAH” He yelped.

 

“YOU FUCJER” Mario scraymed. Bowsar chachkled. “HAHA MARIO’S GUNNA DYE” nowser ponted and laufed. Hiz coosins, the coopalangs, laughted to. Maaro frwned.

 

“I haz been pwned,” he amited defet. Waluigi smirkrd lik a sadist.

 

Lake liffes at marzo.

 

“U R A FOOKEN PUSSAY!” He shreked. He pooncned mezrio in the nozel und licked at pech.

 

“goat ur fet iss oot uf heer becuz no 1 leks u.” he slamped hiz hendz onto hte dosk und stook hiz tonge out et hair.

 

PECH scrommed. “Wat” she angrily scorned. Sh felt liek esplodin. “Ur tong luuks lik u have mooth cancar.” Pech laughters. “Ducking fag”

 

Waluigi grabbed Lunk’s arm and togged. “Can we plz leav” he ask, givin lunk hiz bast puppi eyes.

 

Loonk loofted.

 

“pfffffffftttttttt!1111!!! Feck noo. Dis ez 2 funy!” he turned back to pech.

 

“wool at lest nun uf the roost uf oos hev fake ass tiddies. U plistic luckin ass smelly armpit ass stanky breath having ass binch.” longe lofed

 

“FINE DEN” waluigi scream. He cri blood. Hay iz angrily stomoing awag know. “I HATE U U SUPA MODEL LOOKIN FAN ASS PIEC OF SHAT”

 

WALUIGI IS sad. Waluigi on his way home enhals moar tost to mak him feel betta. Wen he get hom he grab a plastok spoon an slit his rists. He loose a lot of blud so he pass ot…

 

Lonk dont know about it, so Link does donut feel the regrets.

 

To be contined… DUN DUN DUHNN!!


End file.
